...wobei einige bei deutscher betonung fast schon wienerisch klingen :)))

Are you harboring a fugitive? Hu Yu Hai Ding?

See me A.S.A.P. Kum Hia Nao

Stupid Man. Dum Gai

Small Horse. Tai Ni Po Ni

Did you go to the beach? Wai Yu So Tan?

I bumped into a coffee table. Ai Bang Mai Ni

I think you need a facelift. Chin Tu Fat

It's very dark in here. Wai So Dim?

Has your flight been delayed? Hao Long Wei Ting?

That was an unauthorized execution. Lin Ching

I thought you were on a diet. Wai Yu Mun Ching?

This is a tow away zone. No Pah King

Do you know the lyrics to the Macarena? Wai Yu Sing Dum Song?

You are not very bright. Yu So Dum

I got this for free. Ai No Pei

I am not guilty. Wai Hang Mi?

Please, stay a while longer. Wai Go Nao?

Our meeting was scheduled for next week. Wai Yu Kum Nao?

They have arrived. Hia Dei Kum

Stay out of sight. Lei Lo

He's cleaning his automobile. Wa Shing Ka

Your body odor is offensive. Yu stin ki pu

HE:: So, what do you do for a living?
SHE:: I'm a female impersonator.

HE: I'm a photographer. I've been looking for a face like yours.
SHE: I'm a plastic surgeon. I've been looking for a face like yours.

HE: Hi. Didn't we go on a date once? Or was it twice?
SHE: Must've been once. I never make the same mistake twice.

HE:: Will you go out with me this Saturday?
SHE:: Sorry. I'm having a headache this weekend.

HE:: Go on, don't be shy. Ask me out.
SHE:: Okay, get out.

HE:: I think I could make you very happy.
SHE:: Why? Are you leaving?

HE:: Can I have your name?
SHE:: Why? Don't you already have one?

HE:: Shall we go see a movie?
SHE:: I've already seen it.

HE:: Where have you been all my life?
SHE:: Hiding from you.

HE:: Haven't I seen you some place before?
SHE:: Yes. That's why I don't go there anymore.

HE:: Hey baby, what's your sign?
SHE:: Do not enter.

HE:: Your body is like a temple.
SHE:: Sorry, there are no services today.

und auch jetzt wirds kurz.
aber ich musste das einfach festhalten:

Definitions of Words by Gender

THINGY (thing-ee) n.
Female: Any part under a car's hood.
Male: The strap fastener on a woman's bra.

VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj.
Female: Fully opening up one's self emotionally to another.
Male: Playing football without a helmet.

und...

Who's General Failure & why's he reading my disk?

I intend to live forever - so far, so good.

Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

24 hours in a day ... 24 beers in a case...coincidence?

Dancing is a perpendicular expression of a horizontal desire.

Boycott shampoo! Demand the REAL poo!

Who is General Failure and why is he reading my hard disk?

What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.

I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you.

A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.

Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

The colder the X-ray table, the more of your body is required to be on it.

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.

The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up.

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film

Der kleine Fritzi kommt heulend zur Mutter. "Warum weinst du denn?" fragt sie.
"Der Papa wollte ein Bild aufhängen, und hat sich dabei auf den Daumen gehaut."
"Aber deswegen mußt du doch nicht so weinen!"
"Zuerst habe ich eh gelacht!"

*lol*
*sichbildlichvorstellmitwienerdialekt*

Sie zu ihm: "Schatz, was gefällt Dir an mir am meisten?
Mein perfekter Körper, oder mein schönes Gesicht?"
Er: "Dein Sinn für Humor"

1. Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film.

2. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.

3. A day without sunshine is like, well, night.

4. On the other hand, you have different fingers.

5. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

6. Back up my hard drive? How do I put it in reverse?

7. I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.

8. When the chips are down, the buffalo is empty.

9. Seen it all, done it all, can't remember most of it.

10. Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.

11. I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.

12. He's not dead. He's electroencephalographically challenged.

13. She's always late. Her ancestors arrived on the Juneflower.

14. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted then used against you.

15. I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges.

16. Honk if you love peace and quiet.

17. Pardon my driving. I'm reloading.

18. Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how it remains so popular?

19. Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.

20. It is hard to understand how a cemetery raised its burial costs and blamed it on the high cost of living.

wenns im büro wieder mal langweilig ist ;)

http://www.marc-o-polo.de/game.php

kracht die kuh durchs scheunendach,
wollt sie wohl den schwalben nach

tolle unterhaltung für grosse und kleine tüftler *ggg*








[edit] als bonus gibts dann schlaue sätze:
"kühe reiten im immenhof,
umn immenhof und umn immenhof herum"
oder auch im innenhof

"muht die kuh laut im getreide,
war ein loch im zaun der weide"

Frühmorgens bei Schulzes - Sie steht am Fenster und schaut hinaus.
"Guck mal, da graut der Morgen!"
Brummelt er ins Kissen: "DEM Morgen..."